Taking it all back...

There is a great song by Tye Tribbett and part of they lyrics go like this:
Devil if you only knew what I was gonna be after the storm You wouldn't have even bothered me Yeah (But now i'm) stronger (And I got more) power (I'm a little bit) wiser (And I got more) strength (I got thee) anointing (Got God's) favor (And we're still) standing I want it all back.

When I entered the worst storm of my life in 2008 I didn't think I would ever understand why, I looked to God and said: "Lord, I serve you faithfully, I love your people as you do, I don't do the things judged wrong in your eyes, I am raising Godly children, so why Lord...why"? As the storm raged on I started to rage on the inside, from the lack of control I felt over my life; it was disheartening and terrifying. And then there was quiet, calm, stillness, peace, and a voice that said: "Dwell in me my love". Five simple words that would change my life forever, uttered when I least expected it. I began to thank Him for the storm, He was the calm in the midst of that chaos, to praise Him for giving me the strength to hang on when I felt like letting go, He was the Rock, the Chief Cornerstone I leaned upon, to thank Him for providing food, shelter, and sustenance through His Word, He was Jehovah-Jirah in my midnight hour, my friend when I needed someone to stick close to me, who better to understand the bond of friendship than my Jesus who allowed the one who would betray him to kiss his cheek, my Abba-Daddy when I was fearful, who better to hold me in His lap than the one who created me, my husband, who better to trust my heart to than the one who until his last heartbeat was thinking of me? Now devil I understand why you tried to make me a feel like a failure, you wanted to beat me to the ground, oh but you should have left me alone because out of the storm arose the woman God created me to be. The woman who is elevating God's Kingdom daily, the woman who pours her heart out to her Maker, and teaches others just who their Way-Maker is, the woman whose children call her blessed and honor me for my rightful place in their lives, the woman whose bond with her own Mama is like a three fold chord that can not be broken. So to you devil I say: Thank you for coming after me; it sure has made all the difference in the world...and ultimately to the world one soul at a time!
So now some 2 years later where am I? I am in the best place I ever thought possible, smack dab in the middle of His Will for my life, and that pesky need I had to control, what sweet relief to give it all up to Him. I am happy, loved, blessed, humble, growing, and taking as many people with me to Him as I can. I skip along to the beat of my Savior's Heart, I walk in the footsteps of the One who goes before me, I love with His unfailing love, I talk with His peace in my words, and He accepts all of me! How lovely it is to be the woman God created me to be.

Snapping my fingers to His tune,

Nickie Subach
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